THiS iS THE iCiNG ON THE CAKE. .

Hello. Don't exactly know how I'm feeling today. I'm kinda in the " I don't give a fuck " mood. Anyone ever have it? Yea well I just don't feel like doing much of anything. I just wanted to wake up and everything would be fine but of course when I open my eyes, the troubles have just begun.

Well I wake up, and I immediately start coughing, which I now know that I am sick. I've got a big headache, my nose either is runny or it gets stuffy, and it doesn't help that my throat is on fire. I was doing so good with not getting sick while I was pregnant but now since I've gotten sick oh lord, it sucks.

Next thing I happen to take notice to is my boyfriend isn't home. He went out with our friend Jeff for his birthday, I really don't mind, not at all. The thing that gets me is he tells me that he'll be home around 12 or 1. I didn't think I'd be up to hear him come in but I was surprised when I didn't feel him get into bed or anything. So now it's 12 in the afternoon the following day and he still isn't here. If he shows up here at like 1 or something I'm gonna smack him. If he wanted to stay out all night do whatever, fine with me. I know once the baby comes we both are gonna have to cut off a lot, but damn can you tell a bitch either A.M. or P.M.? Damn. I woulda felt better if he said that he was coming home the following day in the afternoon not just say I'll be home at 12 or 1 and knowing I'll assume he means that night.

Next on the list, I'm supposed to be watching my brother Dante's daughters. So I'm up at the crack of dawn ( well like 10 ha ) and he never shows. I finally check my MySpace and he tells me that Melissa is having her aunt watch the kids. I just find it amazing how they keep doing this to me. When they first needed a babysitter they told me yes and I was more than willing to. But of course they didn't wanna drive an extra 20 mins a day so they sent them over someone else's house. Next thing you kno my oldest niece Alicia comes home with bruises from being over there. They finally let me watch the kids, something they shoulda done in the beginning. Now this whole week they haven't come over once. Now my brother tells me Melissa is having someone else watch them.

So now as I'm thinking about all the shit that is going on, the only thing I can say is. . FUCK iT. If no one needs me do anything for them, if people wanna walk over me, if people wanna say one thing and do another then fine. . just FUCK iT. So right about now all I am trying to do is better and go to school. It's just amazing how my days unravel like this. Oh well. I'll probably write in here again later. Love ya! Ciara